¿Qué demonios hacen los campistas en un restaurante y eres tú uno de ellos?

The key to being a courteous diner is self-awareness. Is the food taking a long time because the kitchen is slow, or is the wait due to a packed restaurant, where even the most seasoned brigade would be in the weeds? Has your excessive meal modification fundamentally changed the dish you ordered? Why does your server keep asking if you'd like anything else?

In the case of that last question, it could be that you and your party are " camping." You've finished your meal, dessert, and third cocktail more than 20 minutes ago, and now the chatting has entered lingering territory. As much as you enjoy the ambiance and the space from your kids, it might be time to take the conversation to a bar, outside, or somewhere else that isn't occupying valuable real estate for the next diner. Losing track of time is an honest mistake, but if you know you're meeting that friend who loves to talk, plan accordingly.

In some situations, camping is allowed, if not encouraged. In others, like a busy restaurant with a backlog of reservations or a fine-dining establishment with clear rules of etiquette, nobody cares how many Aperol spritzes you've ordered. The wait staff wants to turn over the table, the host wants to clear parties from the entryway, and the kitchen doesn't want to keep cooking past cutoff because hangry guests feel entitled to the same two-and-a-half hours enjoyed by the people who made them wait.

How can you tell if you're camping?

The easiest way to tell if you're camping is if a waiter keeps returning to the table and asking if you'd like anything else. If your answer is "No," then the next words out of your mouth should be "Just the check." You can still finish your cocktail or ice cream, but know that the tab is closed, and it's soon time to head toward the exit.

Waiting 10 minutes past your reservation time doesn't give you an extra 10 minutes to linger at your table either. If dinner runs late because you were seated late, that's one thing. But if you're being petty and milking your coffee to spite the host who didn't intend to make you wait, it's absolutely time to leave.

Remember, the more tables a restaurant turns over, the more money it makes, so it's not personal — it's just business. Some eateries have even begun capping table times. If you waited months to get into a trendy spot, it's okay to embrace the experience and take some photos. However, try to be aware of your surroundings and gracious to those before, after, and serving you.

When is it acceptable to camp?

There are obvious places where camping is allowed, such as sports bars, buffets, or places with happy hours and bottomless mimosas. Post up and eat shrimp until you feel the onset of early gout. Never mind that you might eat Red Lobster into bankruptcy — it gave you the option to camp, so it has to live with the consequences.

That said, if you're really excited and want to fully explore a restaurant, make a reservation during non-peak hours, sit at the chef's counter, and politely engage with your server. Your interest and enthusiasm might earn you a free small plate, or some other kind of comp.

Another added benefit of a 2 p.m. reservation is that you now have plenty of time to get a photo worthy of tens of Instagram likes — or split a check seven ways — without holding up half the restaurant. So what if it's not a prototypical hour for lunch? You're not really trying to have a normal meal anyway, and your consideration definitely won't go unnoticed.