The Single Best Pastry at Every Good Bakery on the Upper East Side

The Single Best Pastry at Every Good Bakery on the Upper East Side

The perfect eugénie, pound cake, cookie, and more.

Recently, though, after seeing (and contributing to) so much coverage of the new and exciting bakeries opening throughout NYC — in other neighborhoods — I strangely longed to revisit my former stomping ground for the schnecken and pound cake of my early days and to see what, if anything, the UES has to offer by way of baked goods. I was pleasantly surprised, with a few disappointments thrown in. Herein are my findings and recommendations. Warning: These are more traditional, fancier parts, and the options reflect that. Prices range from about $4.25 to $16 before tax.

The chumps and tourists will make a beeline for the macarons. But they’re not like us, you and me: We know better. We have discovered the Eugénie, a chocolate-coated shortbread “biscuit” with a gooey center. The pistachio is my pick (the flavor infuses the white chocolate exterior and its slightly salty praline filling). But it’s a matter of gravitational pull; you may be drawn to the Eugénie Rose with its lychee heart, for example.

Yes, the obvious choice (and for good reason) is to stop by in the morning, grab a cappuccino and a cornetto, and pretend you’re in Italy (which means you should NOT do this after 11 a.m.). But let’s say you stop by in the afternoon. What then? Then, you will have a slice of the triumph of hazelnuts they call the Gianduia, with its nutty dacquoise base supporting a crisp wafer, chocolate mousse, and layers of cream, all flavored with hazelnuts. The caramelized nuts sit on top for maximum nocciola impact. If you’d like something lighter or easier to nibble on while you walk, the assorted cookies are delightful, especially the palmier-like fan and the linzer.

When this hushed, minimalist art gallery-esque boîte opened its doors 20 years ago, its thousand-layer mille crepe cakes were all the rage. If there had been influencers then, you’d have seen these intricate, cream-filled tiered wedges all over your social media feeds. They have not changed and are offered in many flavors. But what beckons, especially in warmer weather when I’m looking for something a bit lighter, is a slice of the strawberry “shortcake.” It’s not shortcake as we think of it in the U.S. instead of a rustic-style biscuit piled with cream and berries, it is a composed layer cake with an airy, almost feathery sponge and strawberry cream filled with pieces of fruit. What resonates is the berry flavor and the gentlest, most delicate combination of textures.

I stopped in just to see what was up. I wasn’t looking for a box of chocolate bonbons or truffles. I wanted something to snack on. If that’s your vibe, might I recommend the dark chocolate mendiant sachet (i.e., high-end bark)? It’s like a more sophisticated Chunky or, if you’re of the British persuasion, then ye olde Cadbury Fruit and Nut Bar would be the appropriate comparison here. Either way, the chocolate starts to melt just as it lands in your mouth, as it should; the nuts are roasted to bring out their aromas, and the candied citrus isn’t too sweet or gummy. (NB: The chocolate ice cream appears to be a thing here. I could not try it because they were sold out, which I learned when a neighborhood resident stopped in for her fix and was denied. So, if you should find it there while you are, maybe ask for a sample, at the very least.)

Eli Zabar (yes, one of those Zabars) opened this cafe and prepared food market in 1973. Fifty-plus years later, fresh off a renovation, its food remains as reliably excellent as it ever was. It was the place that set my standards for the perfect roast chicken, the perfect quiche, the perfect mussels vinaigrette, the perfect mozzarella and tomato sandwich on a homemade French sourdough ficelle: The best simple things are done exactly right. This extends to baked goods, and among those, my craving usually leads me to pound cakes: blueberry, marble, and (this one’s the sleeper) orange. Are the prices absurdly high? They are. But will you find fault with anything you eat at E.A.T.? Unlikely.

If E.A.T. remains blissfully the same, Greenberg’s has been obliterated beyond recognition. Its nominal founder would weep at the sight. Until the day he retired, you could watch him through the store window, happily decorating cakes for the city’s social elite. My father used to walk over after school in junior high to get one of the fudgy brownies for 22 cents. My mom brought the sticky, caramel-shellacked, cinnamon-scented snails known as schnecken home for our breakfast. My grandmother often bought one of the small layer cakes when we came for dinner. Kids were always handed one of the impossibly thin, buttery cookies when they came in. You can’t find those cookies or brownies there now and the cookies look pallid and worse for the wear, as if they’ve been collecting dust in their dingy plastic containers. No one I know gets a decorated cake from that place anymore. They’re all about their hyped black-and-whites, available in all colors of the rainbow, which no one particularly seemed to care much about until Ina Garten praised it five years ago. The schnecken remains, so I decided to try both the original size and the mini. It was the opposite of a Proustian madeleine moment, as if, instead of being brought back to the comfort of childhood, you were reminded the world has gone to shit. Greenberg’s, I hardly knew ye.

True, they make a lot of their baked goods in-house, but I stop in for The Hungry Gnome items they also stock — specifically, the One Toff Cookie. This puppy’s loaded with three kinds of chocolate chunks (dark, milk, and white) and the starring “toff,” baker Danielle Sepsy’s homemade bits of salted English toffee. Neighborhood residents gather around the takeout window for frozen yogurt because the fro-yo is worth a detour and actually tastes like yogurt (as opposed to overly sweet soft serve “lite” ice cream).

Because I have seen more viral images of those cups of hot (or frozen hot) chocolate with towering garnishes than I ever cared or wanted to, and because I’d been to Noglu previously and hadn’t been wowed by the goods, I decided not to include it on my crawl. I hope you’ll forgive me.

This traditional French pastry shop landed on Lexington Avenue last March, and although it has all les classiques, the American-style classic chocolate chip cookie is actually its Best Thing. It’s like a chubbier, better-quality Nestle Toll House with a sprinkling of salt. If you prefer something French, a slice of apple tart or the stack of financiers should do it. They have an especially pleasing outdoor seating area as well.

Why haven’t I been going to the outpost of Frédéric Vaucamps’s bakery in my own neighborhood? Maybe because I always think I don’t like meringues all that much. I’m wrong! It took me this crawl and the newest location, which opened in May, to figure it out. You should get one (the individual) or a few (the mini) of Fred’s merveilleux (my vote is for the coffee-flavored L’Impensable). His whipped cream-encased “marvelous” creations are based on a two-centuries-old confection that he modernized, lightening it up and expanding on its flavorings. They’re the draw here. The rest isn’t anything to write home about.

I’m old enough and have lived in this city long enough to remember when there was a single Levain shop on West 74th Street before the cookies popped off. I’ve always gone there for the blueberry muffin, and it’s still exactly as I remember it. As for newer “inventions,” that seasonal lemon cookie they introduced in March might have been the best of all the cookies they’ve produced (although that Flatiron black-and-white chocolate chip is worth a visit). Here’s hoping they bring it back (or add it to the roster permanently).

According to food influencer Rachel Brotman (a.k.a. The Carboholic), this gluten-free bakery not only makes a killer cinnamon roll, but it also happens to be her top pick for all the cinnamon rolls of New York City. As of May, there’s an outpost on Third Avenue at 81st Street, and I wanted to know if this thing measured up (or if my skepticism of the #MBBPartner tag on Brotman’s post was merited). Listen, the roll is good. It certainly isn’t the best roll in town, at least, not to my taste. It has cream cheese frosting — a plus — but I found it bready and wanted more cinnamon goo. For that goo factor and a moister slice, my bet’s on the chocolate babka. Babkas would seem dry by definition. Not this one! I tried it twice to make sure I wasn’t losing it. Nope, I’m good.

Although I wasn’t over the Hamentaschen Debacle of Purim (i.e., inexplicably coating the jam-filled cookies with chocolate frosting and colored sprinkles), I have always been a fan of Orwashers and wrote it off as a minor blip on an otherwise solid track record. I’m glad I did because, wow, I don’t think I’d ever tried the apple crumb muffin, and it’s now on my top-ranking list of muffins. The topping is ample and crumbly, and there are chunks of cooked, cinnamon-infused apples in there. The chocolate chip scone is exactly what I hoped for: buttery with a crunchy sprinkling of sugar. And, if you’re in the mood for an unfussed-with, old-fashioned fudgy brownie, this one will do it for you.