The secret to having a great time for everyone? The expert explains the rules of children's birthday party etiquette

If you have children, grandchildren, or friends with young children, you know how tedious birthday parties can be, both for the organizer and the guests. In the former case, you have to find a place to hold it, since our homes are often too small to accommodate so many children. Then you have to figure out what to prepare, how to entertain the little ones, and, last but not least, how to manage the invitations. In the latter, the most important thing (and it's no small thing) is figuring out what to give as gifts.

What does etiquette say about children's birthday parties? We spoke with Samuele Briatore, president of the Italian Academy of Galateo and coordinator of the Master's Degree in Ceremonies, Etiquette, and Institutional Events at La Sapienza University of Rome.

How to make invitations for a child's birthday party

How to invite? "A children's party is a simple event: you don't need written invitations like you would for a wedding, for example. A simple phone call or text to the guest's parents will suffice, especially if you intend to invite only a few children in the class," says Briatore. "In both cases, the key is to be precise: clearly indicate the day, start, and end times of the party so that everyone knows when to pick up their child, and then specify whether adults will be present. If not, it's a good idea to reassure them that the children will be well-entertained and supervised by explaining what the party will involve."

What to prepare to eat at a children's party for children

The general guidelines are the same for any type of event. "You should always ask about any allergies or intolerances and plan a simple buffet with foods that can be eaten with your hands, such as focaccia, sandwiches, and biscuits. Ideally, you should also offer vegetables, which everyone can enjoy and teach children to eat them even during social occasions," says Briatore.

What to prepare for adults to eat at a children's party

And what about adults? "When they're invited, you need to make them feel welcome, both by providing a space where they can hang out during the party and by providing a buffet. Ideally, you'd prepare dishes that aren't too different from the ones served for the little ones, but a little more unique. For example, if the kids are serving tomato focaccia, we could prepare them with cheese or fish for the adults. The same rule should apply to drinks: besides wine, for example, it's always nice to be able to choose an alcoholic beverage other than fruit juice. Another thing: I'd avoid hard liquor at a children's party."

When opening a gift at a children's party

First, so that the children stop asking, or at the end of the party? When do you open the presents? "Etiquette dictates that presents should always be opened later, at the end of the party, that is, not in front of the guests. This helps avoid embarrassing people, because someone might have given a smaller present, for example, or because there are duplicates. Children are an exception, but presents should still be opened at the end of the party, even if in company, so as not to distract them: they could all focus on the present and pay little attention to other activities," advises Briatore.

What do you give as a gift at a children's party?

"Whenever possible, as in the case of a group of friends or a class, to avoid differences, the ideal would be to give a single gift and establish a quota. As for the amount," Briatore concludes, "the advice is to consult with the child's mother, who will certainly appreciate being consulted."